December 29, 2009
JOHN LATHAM MEMORIAL GAME
Mr. John Latham was smiling down from the Heavens as he sees the Oldies show the Youngies how it is done, on a day that we remember our dear friend who left us too soon.
On a misty Boxing Day afternoon an event of epic proportions occurred. The annual John Latham Memorial game took place, a holiday tradition which has existed at Burnaby Lake since time immemorial. A day when those club members over thirty years of age, play those under thirty; the game known as the “Over / Under” game.
This game began like many other Over / Under game over the years, with players showing up at no precise hour, but roughly according to when they notice the sun is highest overhead in the sky. Over thirties and the under thirties moved to their respective change rooms with only the occasional barb or insult exchanged. To the outside observer the sense of high competition and athletic tension must certainly seem palpable.
After the Overs managed to squeeze their over sized mid sections into jerseys that seem to get smaller every year, they strode out onto the pitch on creaking, arthritic legs to begin a brief but precise warm-up. It was reported that in the Unders’ change room prior to warm up things got pretty heated, as an argument broke out between team-mates as to which starlet had prettier hair, pop sensation Brittany Spears or America’s new sweat-heart, Taylor Swift. This serious division was settled, however, by team sensation, Rick Flello, who all had to agree had better hair then both Brittany and Taylor, allowing the team to commence their warm up united again.
After about five minutes of jogging, ball passing and groaning, the Unders’ were sufficiently criticized for taking the warm up way too seriously and the game finally commenced with the Overs led by veteran player, Captain Joe Lee and the Unders led by club linchpin, Captain Angus Fisher.
As tradition dictated all players had to play out of their regular positions. It is only on Boxing Day that the two hundred and eighty pound, front row Marco Agostini is seen playing full back and only on Boxing Day can the lithe and willowy Jamie Levchuk gets to mix it up in the tight five. This did not prevent play from reaching the usual high standards of Burnaby Lake., however. In the words of observer and super-fan Al Major the capacity of both sides in the execution of complex plays was enthusiastically described as “shocking”.
It was a tough and hard fought clash of titans. Honourable mentions on the Unders side went to Anthony Luca, who was able to smash opponents and run hard yards while simultaneously shouting obscenities at anyone on the sideline he happened to glimpse, to Captain Fisher, who stayed a force on the field while still managing to avoid injuring himself, and “Starvin’ ” Marvin Omaque, who did not completely suck as a winger and managed to keep his head in the game despite savage heckling from frequent Overs benchwarmer John Decaire.
On the Over side many witnessed star performances by hard hitting, former Canada captain Ryan Banks, who materialized out of the mist sometime in the first half, Over 40 player Greg Gilding who smashed into rucks like a small, creaking, freight train and Denis “Juice” Marsden, who ran like Tiger Balm scented wind. All in all the Overs saw fantastic performances from most of their players, even those written off long ago as has-beens. The only disappointment to the team was ex-professional rugby player Mike James, who did not adequately fulfill his role as a “ringer”. Unfortunately, Mike was just as bad a back as every other forward; luckily the Sports Hall of Fame people were not present to see it.
The game ended a close fought, but decisive victory for the Overs with the score five trys to four. Hence, history was made ending a several year long losing streak. In the end the Overs’ rugged experience seemed to wear down and confound the energetic exuberance of the Unders’ youth. As club blowhard and know it all John Decaire was heard to say: “This Over victory has wiped the smug look off those Unders’ faces for a while. It will take weeks of flexing while they look at themselves in fitness gym mirrors for them to get that sense of smug satisfaction back.”
To add insult to injury, later in the clubhouse, the Unders also lost the boat race to the Overs. All in all, a great day for Overs and a poor one for Unders, who will have to wait till next Boxing Day for redemption.
- Johnny Napalm
With marvelous story telling by Sir John Decaire
